It's valentines day. I hate this day really. I don't have a good track record with this day.

The only time I have *ever* been given roses was valentines day 2003....it caused a huge arguement.. He went out of his way to get my work address without asking me & paid a nice chunk to have them delivered to me at work...then I asked for the day off last minute. When he found out I wasn't going to be there to recieve them, he was livid. I didn't know what he was planning, why get mad at me for ruining it? It was 2 weeks later that we agreed to a divorce.

Last year I bought a HUGE jar & filled it with M&M's, Kisses & heart Runts for Jimmy. (In addition to a mix CD with obscure songs that we both loved) I used blue ribbon (his favorite color) to tie a tag on it that said something like "As long as this is full, you will always have my kisses, hugs & my heart". (Get it? Kisses for kisses, M&M's for mmmmm hugs and heart Runts for my heart. I was quite proud of myself for that one!) My plan was to take candy with me everytime I went over there, so that it never ran low. About 3 months later, when we had not seen each other for over 2 months, that jar got brought up in conversation, about how I intended to keep it full. He made a comment of, "that was your mistake, you put too much in it, it's been months & it dosen't need refilled yet". I don't think that will make sense to anyone but me & him, but it sums our relationship up.

So I don't have the best valentines day history. I usually avoid this day as much as I can.
Then he came along. And today, I want nothing more than to spend the day with the man I love....and he's in South Dakota. I got the sweet phone call this morning...but it's not the same. We say we'll celebrate once he gets back....but again, not the same. So my valentines day yuck streak continues....