I feel like such a downer on this thing lately. And I consider not posting when I feel like ranting about stuff like that... but then i can hear Sheri say 'it's MY blog!' and i post away. :)My tony stewart look alike gets on a plane Thursday morning for a 3rd interview for a job in Baltimore. I feel like a bad person/friend/his "girl", but I'm sitting here wishing & almost praying that he doesn't get the job. How horrible of me is that?! I know, I know. Don't answer, I already know. But it's true. I told him good luck tonight when we talked.... and I added in that I hope he realizes that I don't totally mean that. He knows and I think that makes it harder. Not that I expect him to not take an amazing offer because I'm here, but knowing that he knows, that I know... yet there's nothing we can do about it. It just stinks.
After my post last night, I did a quick search on my blog & re read a bunch of entries relating to the person I was mad at... and who I promised I would post an open apology to. So here you go J. I'm sorry I got so mad over one comment. I feel so on the edge lately. The Baltimore thing. The admitting to myself that I'm not over the B situation. (And then finding out i have to make 2 trips more than planned to St Pete because of my divorce. Who's stupid idea was it for me to file there? Oh. Wait. B's. duh) I just feel like there's so much coming at me lately. Like I want to just scream STOP and take a break for a few minutes, or a day... or a week. And J, our conversations, they are that break for me. You never fail to make me laugh, to make me forget about everyday drama. So when one of those breaks becomes another thing hurling towards me, I don't handle it well. Me & you. You & me. We're friends. We're solid. I love that. The future? Who knows. You & me still exist as me & you, that much i know for sure. In what sense though, I'm in no rush to find out, only because I know it will unfold just as it's meant to be. Until then, search yourself & read. They made me smile. :)