{that's all I have to say about that}

We watched Forrest Gump last night.
We being me & B.
The past few times I've been there it's been on TV.
We watch until a commercial & then we change it.
Last night I made him keep it on.

So we sat there.
Just the two of us.
I adore his nephew & enjoy hanging out with him & his girlfriend.
But last night, I was thankful that they weren't home.
So we sat there.
On the couch.
With a breeze coming off the lake thru the open window.
Me laying between his legs with my head resting on his chest.
He played with my hair.
Every now & then he'd bend over & kiss my forehead.
And we watched Forrest Gump.
And for a moment I thought to myself, he GETS it.
So I didn't talk about it.
He didn't talk about it.
We just watched.


This morning he asked if I was OK.
I wanted so badly to tell him yes.
I wanted so badly to tell him no.
Instead I said what I feel is most accurate.

I will be.

Cause right now I'm not.
Yet I am.
But I know that eventually, I will be.
It's way, way down there, but I know the OK is there.

He told me that he doesn't like seeing me this way.
This 'not quite myself' way.
Doesn't want to see my in pain.
Physical pain or emotional pain.
And again, all I could tell him was
I'll be OK.