{300 posts!}

So that video post was my 300th post on this blog! I didn't realize that until I just logged in to write this. Pretty cool! I wonder though if that includes the posts that are saved as drafts... maybe I'll go through today & post those instead of 'hiding' them.
I do that alot here, write something & then just save it instead of posting it. It allows me to get the feelings out, but not have to share them. I get scared sometimes about sharing so much of myself. Scared that if I'm excited about something & then it dosen't work out like I hope it will, then I kind of have to answer to it. It's out there once I hit publish, I can't pretend that it never happened, that I never had those thoughts. So I type away, get my thoughts out & then hide the post.

This week I've been sorta doing that. Typing something out & then deleating it. Not even saving as a draft. Scared that if I hit that publish button then I'll jinx things. My life is so wonderful right now. Just amazing. Everything clicks. Everything is not perfect. Perfect would mean me being in Tampa, or him being in Orlando, but that's just not possiable. Not yet. Very soon though, very soon. Thankfully he's a math whiz & is quick to rattle off how many hours are left until we see each other again. I hate wishing away days, but that's very much what I've been doing this week! Can't wait til 4:30 tomorrow, when I walk out my office door & head over to his house. Very much looking forward to spending the weekend with him. Seeing him in action as a dad, eating breakfast together, going to the zoo, cooking dinner, enjoying the alone time once C falls asleep....just being with him in that day to day enviroment. Getting that taste of what it will be like once I'm there, or as he says, once I'm 'home'.