Do you ever want to change? Like a big change. Just get rid of everything current & start new.

I guess I kind of have before. I've made big changes before. When Mike & I split, I rented a mid size moving van & only moved what could fit in it. Plus a couple trips of stuff in my car. I left behind clothes that were too small. Toys that Em didn't play with. A desk. Entertianment center. Sofas. Towels. Shoes. I took only what I needed & basiclly started new. That was almost 3 years ago.
Just over a year ago, I made another change. It started with a pair of 'funky-ier' eye glasses & a haircut. Suddenly I was looking in the mirror & seeing someone else. Someone who was a little bit happier with themselves. Then Mitch came around. The first guy since Mike that showed interest in me. It was because of him that I started to lose weight. He was over & out pretty quickly, but that's OK, he was just the push that I needed. Now, almost 50lbs later, I do this for me.

I guess those are pretty big changes. And I'm SO much happier now. I'm a totally different person than I was 3 years ago. Completly different. Look different, act different, think differently.

But I want more.

I've been thinking about another change lately. And I haven't told anyone, so I'm afraid now with recent happenings around me, that they will think the change is for the wrong reasons.
But you know what? I don't care. I really don't care what people think at this point. I just know that I want something more. Something new. I'm not totally sure what it is, but I have an idea.

I know one thing for sure. I'm tired.

I'm tired of the same thing everyday. I'm tired of seeing the same things everyday. I'm tired of being afraid to make the major jump.

Now, I've said this before.... I'm a big believer in signs. I ask for a sign, something happens that makes things fit & I take that as my sign. Things have been happening. Things are fitting.

So, I'm thinking really hard today about a lot of things. I haven't been sleeping well. I stay awake, tossing & turning & thinking of a million what ifs. I can't concentrate on my work. I start something, walk away & completely forget about it. I'm here, but my mind is somewhere else. It's in that place where what I want is. I think, just think, that my mind is Tampa right now.