{breathe}

Oh, I’m gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
And cannon ball into the water
I’m gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
For you I will

I can’t concentrate. I can’t focus.

I can’t tell the difference between what I want and what is right… or if there even is a difference.

I’ve been putting off making the phone call. Trying to think of other ways to do it. Sat in the car at lunch, called the landlord with a couple questions, called S about tonight, tried to think if I had any other calls to make, well, yeah, I could call him….and then that song came on. Love that song. Sat & really listened to it. And realized what it was saying.

So I called. I had a message all planned out in my head, did not expect him to answer. He did. And we talked. He asked if I was moved in, how it went. We caught up on life dramas. I asked if there was anything new with his custody issue. He asked if I got his last message online. I said no & asked what it was, he said nothing and giggled. That laugh. I missed it so much.

No clue what will happen now, but I took the first step to finding out.