He hates his job.
That's not true. He loves his job. He hates that location. Says he made the wrong choice by going there. Is ready to walk out.
Do you have any idea how much that pains me to hear? Not only because I want him to be happy, but my god, things could be so different right now if he hadn't gone.
Have I mentioned that the day I rode down with him to look for apartments was the day we had planned for our first 'official' date? Not to sound like a whiney child, but it's not fair.
Six weeks. He's been gone for six weeks now. Seems like forever. It's been 7 weeks since I found out he wanted more from our friendship. It was 3 days later that he called to tell me he took a job two hours away.... making me the first phone call after he accepted.
I miss him being here. I miss hanging out with him. Sitting in the car next to him, making 'cootie catchers' from the papers laying in the backseat. Tripping in the parking lot of Gators & him telling me I've had my diet coke quota for the night. Ordering Red Bull & vodka at 2am on a Monday night, to prove to his brother that I can handle it. Following him cause he gave me horriable directions & had to come & lead the way from the Target parking lot(and calling Mariel while following him & telling her, if for some god forsaken reason I ever date JF, he's never allowed to give directions, cause he sucks.) I actually found myself smiling at my desk at work today, remembering the whap across the head he gave me when I told him I'd never heard of a certian resturant, that it must have been 'before my time'. Simple silly little moments like that.
And I don't know what to say to him. I say I'm sorry he's in the dumps. I say he's 'big bad J', he'll be fine. I make him laugh. Just as I stopped myself from telling him not to go....I stop myself from telling him to come home now. It's just not my place.
1 comment:
It only took 16 clicks on random blogs to get to a fellow pea! Love your pages!
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