So I went home for lunch today. Sat & played on the computer for a bit. Came across some music videos. Watched the newest Eminen video "When I'm Gone". First, I love him. I admit it, I think he's cute. But besides that, I admire him. I know that sounds crazy, but I do. I admire his honesty. I admire that he's not afraid to air his flaws. He's raw, he's real.

Anyways, watched the video. I love the song, but the video brings new life to it. Made me really think. Add into that the buzz of Stacy Julian's new book. Haven't seen it yet, but have heard all about it, about it making things real again. A revolution.

And it hit me.

Stop and think about it. Why do we scrapbook? Answer it. Say it outloud. And now stop & think again.

Is it really? Isthat really why? Do we hold true to that?

When I'm gone & these albums are left behind, no one is going to care if the embellishents are in multiples of three or not. No one will notice that there is no visual triangle. No one will ask what font the journaling is done it.

It dosen't matter.

It all makes sense to me know. I want my family to know that I've let dishes pile up for a week in the sink instead of spending an hour photo shopping them out of the photo. I want them to know that life is tough sometimes. I want Emma to know that she has thrown fits that have left me in tears and wondering if I can really do this mom thing. Because one day she will be there & I want her to know she's not alone. Life isn't just birthday parties, holidays & day trips. Life is laughter & tears. It's heartbreak. It's realizing that this little person living in your house holds your heart in the palm of their hands. I want her to know that there have been times that everything in life is wrong. Birthdays come once a year, what makes them deserve a whole album of their own? What about the other 363 days a year? What makes a photo in a birthday hat any more scrapworthy than a photo of dirty, barefeet in ripped & stained jeans. THAT is my reality. That is what I want her to remember. I don't care if she can't remember one Christmas gift she ever got. I want her to remember that she was sorunded by family & friends every day of of her life, not just birthdays & holidays.