It's kinda gloomly outside and it's making it's way through the windows here at work. I'm tired. My tummy is upset. And I'm just kinda ick feeling all the way around. Not sick, just ick.
I was cleaning off the desktop on my computer last night & came across a movie file that Jimmy had sent me, of C playing on the slide in his backyard. The movie itself is cute, especially the part where C comes off the slide & tumbles off on his less than 2 year old feet & nearly falls face first in the grass. But that part that hit me most was the person behind the camera. Him laughing as C ran off. I miss that laugh. Usually when I think about guys & what I miss about them, quite honestly, it's inpure thoughts lol. Like with A, I miss the the look he would get when he was...um...ready to turn the movie off. lol. That sly little smile. With D, I think of...yeah, I should just end this here. Just trust me, when I think of guys in the past and what I miss about them, it's not G rated thoughts.
But like so many things with Jimmy, it's different. Granted, he's not a guy in the past. We're keeping the lines of communication open, just waiting until the time is right. Until I'm in Tampa, until his custody issue is resolved. My point though is that when I think about him, it's little things that I miss. It's the sound of his voice & how I can read it when something is wrong. It's his laugh. It's the face he makes when he's excited about something. It's how he carries my bags, holds my hand to help me step over something, rubs his hand across my back when he walks past me, how he bought me a scrapbook magazine the day we met. I miss that man like something fierce. Just another reason I want this move to hurry up. I feel like there's a part of my life on hold, a part of my life that's sitting in Tampa & waiting for me to show up so that it can get running again. (And I don't mean that as HE's sitting there waiting) And again, just really missing him today.
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