{last night}

(I promise this has a point to it...but I know I'm kinda rambleing)

We reluctanly left the club around 1:15. I remember walking through the mirrored hallway & thinking, hmm, these jeans look good and then noticing in the mirror that Chris was looking at my ass, how funny I thought to myself. Teased him a little more with a straw & cherry as we all walked to the car. Piled into Steve's car. Steve, Laura, Chris & Kimmy sang showtunes, Thomas & I tried out the seat warmers & rolled our eyes at the singers. Made our way back to Buffulo Bills, where Kimmy & Laura's cars were parked. I ended up on my knees in the parking lot, having trouble finding Laura's keys in my purse...and just a tiny bit of trouble keeping my balance. Chris & I exchanged a few comments about the position I was in, we all hugged & kissed good night, said what a great time we had & then Steve, Chris & Thomas left. Kimmy, Laura & I decided to use the bathroom before heading home. We used the bathroom. That's all we did. Pee, wash our hands & say good night. Such a small thing, but a huge thing too.

Kimmy was in front of us on I-4. Laura was telling me how last time she was folling Kimmy that Kimmy got pulled over for speeding. Seconds later Kimmy slammed on her brakes. To the right I saw a truck smoking & people jumping out of cars & running to the road side. Kimmy jumped out on her phone, yelling that she was calling 911. We pulled off. Someone screamed for a crowbar, Kimmy got one from her trunk. The paramedics were there, they happened to be passing as it happened. Someone said something about flares, Laura & I remembered that damm box in her trunk that she's had since she was 16, the one we curse everytime we load or unload the wheelchair cause it's always in the way. I got them & handed them to someone who ran to the other side of I-4. It wasn't until then that we saw the car in the other direction of traffic. They got the guy out of the truck but were not paying much attention the to the other car on our side of I-4. I knew what was going on, it was obvious. The car was so smashed that you couldn't even tell what it was. The windshield was shattered. Debris was covering all 3 lanes of traffic. As often as I see it, which is almost every day at work, you never get over that sight. Especially when it's right in front of you. When you see it up close. When there's people not being tended to. People half hanging out of cars. And it hits you hard. But not as hard as hearing your friend say, good thing we stopped to use the bathroom, two minutes earlier & that could have been us.

I'm tired. I'm physically & mentally exhusted. I have a dinner date tonight & all I can think about is the man in the passanger seat of that car. The only one that survived in that car. Talking about how he can't die. How he just lost his wife. Thinking about trying to hold Kimmy back as a frustrated drvier honked her horn & yelled out her window for the car in front of her to hurry up... and Kimmy yelling back that people are dead are over there, to just chill out...and then bursting into tears.

We ended up spending the night on Steves couch. The police officer said something about setting up a safety lane in the other direction of I-4, for cars to get around the scene, but we opted to just turn around & go the other direction instead. By that point traffic was backed up a couple miles. People had gotten out of there cars & were standing around talking to other drivers, trying to figure out what was going on. I told a couple people, just turn around, it's gonna be a few hours.

And that was my night. I thought I'd be sitting down today & writing about how much fun we had at the club. How I danced until I could hardly stand. Which is pretty amazing considering I don't dance. How I was introduced to Cory 3 seperate times. How there was a man in the womans bathroom. How I laughed while being sandwhiched between two gay boys. How Steve & I fought over weather the guy walking around with shots was gay or not. And maybe I still will, but not today.

Today I'm very, very tired and very, very thankful.