{good}

Feeling frustrated this morning. SO much to do in this house. So much crap. Feeling like I'll never get it done. So I take a break, sit down here & happen to start talking to Jimmy. And without knowing it, he made it all better. Or maybe he did know what he was doing, he does know me pretty well. Good. That guy is good.

Last weekend I went out with someone else. J & I agreed that we both really like each other, that we could be really good together, but that it wasn't possiable with our current situations. We agreed to back up some, since we did move super fast to begin with. We didn't say we would see other people in the meantime, but we didn't say we couldn't either. I started to wonder if maybe he wasn't the one. If maybe I was just so ready for a relationship that I was latching onto the first possiablity of something real. So I went out with someone else. And it confirmed everything. Going out with this other guy, him trying to kiss me...it all just confirmed that J is the real thing. Hearing the lines he was throwing out at me, nearly made me sick to my stomach to be honest. Partly because I'm thinking the whole time, what am I doing here, I already met the man I want to be with. Partly because he was remiding me of so many other guys in the past, throwing out the lines to get what they want. Mind you, he did not get what he wanted. And I haven't heard from him since then, again, reconfirming everything I already knew.

So, with one simple word, he made everything better. He confirmed everything. He knows I need confirmation...and that I need it often. He knows that & he understands it...and best of all, the hardest part, he puts up with it. One more month. One more month of webcams & typing and then it can be real again. He told me one time that this was all too easy, finding each other, falling for each other, being so perfect, it was all so easy. I told him that it really wasn't, that it's going to be hard. He told me I was wrong (love that about him, that he calls me out), that it's very simple. Maybe one day I'll show him all of this. Maybe then he'll understand what I ment when I said it would be hard.