{tanto mejor}

Today was what I needed.
Yet tonight I feel guilty about it.

B picked up Chinese from our favorite take out place last night. In an effort to be different, he got an assortment of sushi, shrimp & some kind of fish.
Which would have been great if I ate seafood.
He swears he didn't know and I'm kinda thinking he's right, but I won't admit it.
We ended up watching some kung fu movie over wings & cheese sticks from Pizza Hut. Healthy, huh?

(btw, I went to the gym yesterday. Got out of the car & thought, it's way to nice out to spend my time inside on the treadmill. So I went in, changed & then walked the trail thru the park instead. I think I'll be doing that more often.)

I decided I was sleeping in this morning, no matter what. Which worked great until he jumped out of bed at 7:30 am. And I do mean jump, physically jumped out of bed while screaming 'BABY!'. I didn't know the place was on fire, if there was a bug in bed or what... It was nothing of the sorts... Apparently he woke up with tons of energy & wanted to run, did I want to go with him?
Me?
Run?
Funny.
He nearly fell over laughing at the look I gave him.
I stuck to my sleep in plan, not waking until about 9 when he got back.
After showers we headed out to the park, where I agreed to go for a walk, since I felt bad for not running. An off hand comment caused a Uturn & we were then headed to the rink.
That's right.
He took me roller skating.
Seriously. If a boy wants to go straight to my heart, that's how to do it.
Sadly, he lasted about 10 laps before he was taking his skates off. We can't all have the mad roller skills that I have.
Headed to Ale House for lunch, then to the movies, then home for some quiet time before I went to my dad's to pick Emma up. As I left, B said to me, "Today was terrific. Thank you." I thought to myself, yes indeed, it was perfect.

And that's where the guilt sets in.

I know that I need time away from her, time to myself.
But I get it, every other weekend.
And on the weekends that I do have her, when I leave her with my mom for the night or take her to my dads, I feel so freaking guilty about it. Like buy her a pony guilt.
But then I get her back in my arms, love on her and realize that I'm a better mom because I needed that break and I needed it NOW, not next weekend.

I didn't snap at her today like I have the past few days. Instead, we came home, she played outside, watched her favorite shows in Tivo & then we went for a nice bike ride together.
And I truly believe that had I not taken that 'me break' last night/today, none of that would have happened.

I just need to remind myself of that every now & then.